Across the world, millions will be cheering romance with chocolates, flowers, and other gifts of love. Meanwhile, in Net Group, we’re not even sure the office decorum department pushed the agenda strong enough to make people realize Valentine’s Day is a thing.

But it is.

We’re just afraid to ask if anyone celebrates. Who knows, maybe the decision is up to their “love robots” they leave back home, not them… 

Jokes aside…

They bring their robots to the company. 

Anyway, our goal today is to think of the reasons why Valentine’s Day is just part of the background noise here in Net Group. AKA why we’re so casual about it. Let’s lay out the theories of what goes on in our employees’ minds on the day they mostly refer to as Wednesday, February 14. 

Here’s what’s up! (most likely; but probably not)

#1 “I Will F*** This Up”

Let’s face it. Men always find a way to fumble the spaghetti. You know, to take the wrong turn to charming. 

They f*** things up – OK? Women do too, but let’s not digress. 

Just look at the micro portion of the f***-up list.

  • Gifting a teddy bear to a 36-year-old woman. Again. 
  • Buying the whole “Valentine isn’t my thing” speech. (It’s a test!)
  • Finding “perfect Valentine’s getaways” from the browser at work while clocking in time. (That’s OK as long as it’s not chronic)
  • Feasting on the candy heart decorations left in the office rooms. (It’s not lunch!)

The worst thing. It’s not even a woman who came up with the list… The truth is: For men, Valentine’s Day is like a Monday – exhausting, painful, and they never gave any consent.

We have a lot of men in Net Group. They’re awesome, kind, and smart; which is exactly why they’re able to strategically and kindly circumvent the grand idea of Valentine’s Day.

#2 “He Will F*** This Up”

You think the partners don’t recognize the risks involved with being, well, your partner?

They do. A good portion of them even talk about it behind your sorry back. What they don’t do, however, is apply extra pressure. They hope you read the signs and give you the freedom you need to truly understand the issue at hand. Or they’ve just thrown in the towel – which is most likely the case.

That’s why women – especially around workplaces – chose not to apply the Valentine’s day pressures. They know you have enough deadlines and projects already. 

It’s the ultimate signature of love!

#3 I’m Single

Yes, you! The people who stand behind anti-valentines parties. The people who are better off alone, force themselves to think they are, but are not. The junior staff as well – you little energy balls – we know your English is good and that you’re reading too. 

You all relish the status quo. You think we don’t know, do you…

  • You know you can’t say “you complete me” to anyone without them calling the police for stalking. 
  • You know the chocolates only contribute to the dentist’s bill.
  • You know the roses cost double the price on Valentine’s Day. Nothing says ‘romance’ like consumerism.
  • You know Valentine’s Day is a Wednesday with good marketing
  • You know we know you know the anti-Valentine parties are The Bomb 🔥.


#4 They’re Focused on Work

How this made the list is beyond us.

#5 They Are Casanovas

First off, disclaimer – no jealous girlfriend vibes here. 

You see, according to this groundbreaking theory, most of our employees are all secretly juggling work and well, another work. Just like Batman they Bruce Wayne their way through the job, finish like true professionals, put the latex and mask on, and then… (imagination). 

Why, you may wonder, do Casanovas engage in their nightly duties? Well, why do Cats lick their back? 

Because they can, of course. 

Why is Valentine’s Day not nearly as big as Christmass? Well, it’s simple. They maintain an silent Valentine vibe because of the logistical nightmare. Go ahead and try to keep all your clients happy. Who’s got time or a good enough credit rating for that? Uh, no, sorry… who’s got time for that? 😉

So, the next time you spot someone acting nonchalant around Cupid’s arrows on February 14th, just remember, they’re probably just maintaining a work-life balance. Exactly as we want them to. 

It’s all in the name of logistics avoidance, my friends. 

Now, connect the dots. You know how we feel about logistics here anyway.

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